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The page you are searching for has moved, been deleted, or there is a momentary system problem inhibiting access. If you believe this message is an error, please recheck the URL and try again. If you are seeking a Tursa-kissed kitty teapot, it has been stolen and impounded by Canadian customs as our Odinist hero was too cheap to pay US freight. The 404 knows all.

Secret Order of the 404


We have been among you all along, where that which was needed to be found could not be. In library stacks, in kitchen junk drawers, in the pocket of the ceremonial robe where you swore damn well that you left that spare $20, the Secret Hidden Illuminated Order of 404 has taken notes, taken names, and kicked ass whenever possible.

Obfuscated behind the mists of time and the secret oaths that bind our membership in fraterity and confusion, the Secret Hidden Illuminated Order of 404 has long maintained a web presence, dating back to the original TCP/IP conventions and the private research facility computer networks, and our number, the grand and mysterious four and four hundred, has been among you all along, when you purchased items from the local grocer and the mystical $4.04 had arisen on the register LED display, or whenever an ineffable combination of change upon your mantle suddenly vanished at darkest midnight. Four Hundred and Four has watched you as you sought out information from places where it was not, and each time you communicated with webmaster@wherever.com about the missing data, we intercepted the post and added it to our heady dossier. Through the unapproachable truths of those eight sides and one circle, the Secret Hidden Illuminated Order of 404 controls all through its' network of private and public telecommunications devices, operating behind the aegis of numerous other more public abbreviated orders containing the sigil zero or the letter o.

The Secret Hidden Illuminated Order of 404 is divided into three groupings, each with its' own shakes, signs, and data packet losses that identify each member to another. Advancement through the Order is by invitation only past the initial grade, whereas any man, woman, or data terminal has the indefeasable right to the Nihil grade, providing they are free, using an obsolescent or alpha-level operating system that unerringly loses needed information on a regular basis, and can translate their packet loss into a unicursal hexigram in accordance with Book 404 (Aha! The Game is Afoot) [ISBN:0-8877280847-X]. The grades are as follows:

Binary (the User at Whim of the System Adminstrator) Triad:

(0) Nihil
(1) Nitwit
(2) A:DrV, Secret Ineffable Chief of the Blinking Light.



Hexidecimal (Enlightened User advanced to the Priviledged Group) Triad:

#FF00CC Wearer of the Mystic Color.
#CC52DD Protector of the Grand Source Code, Invisible to Inferior Browsers.
#000000 Interfacer of the Void (CP/M to Bind 3.02)



Tertiary (Master of /dev/null) Triad

Earth: Soiler of the Triad
Fire: Burner of the Soiled Robe
Water: Quencher of the Burner of the Soiled Robe
Scotch: Grand Ineffable Master of the Royal Arch of Last Call




Admission to the Nihil grade is administered on a case-by case basis, and aspirants seeking to enter the Order are advised to fill out the secure SSL application form which will be reviewed by the Grand Dodge of the Order.

Copyright 1998.