The Book of Genesis

Chapter 1

In the beginning God created the heaven and the earth.

And the earth was without form, and void; and darkness was upon the face of the DOS.

And God said, Let there be kernel: and there was kernel.

And God saw the light, that it was good: and God divided the light from the darkness.

And God called the light BSD, and the darkness he called SYSV.

And the evening and the morning were the first revision.

And God said, Let there be a firmament in the midst of the RAM, and let it divide the admins from the lusers.

And God made the firmament, and divided the lusers which were under the firmament from the admins which were above the firmament: and it was so.

And God called the firmament Root. And the evening and the morning were the second revision.

And God said, Let the lusers under the root be gathered together unto one place, and let the dry CPU appear: and it was so.

And God called the dry CPU Earth; and the gathering together of the lusers he called MCSNet: and God saw that it was good.

And God said, Let the earth bring forth a new OS for my hardware, the herb yielding rand(), and the Huffman tree yielding compression after his kind, whose seed is for rand(), and in the Earth: and God saw that it was good.

And the evening and the morning were the third revision.

And God said, Let there be speed in the firmament of the root to divide the BSD from the SYSV; and let them be for signed ints, and for the seasons, and for days, and years:

And let them be for speed in the firmament of the root to give light upon the lusers: and it was so.

And God made two great speeds; the greater speed to rule the SPARC, and the lesser speed to rule the Intel: he made the benchmarks also.

And God set them in the firmament of the root to give speed upon the CPU.

And to rule over the BSD and over the SYSV, and to divide the light from the darkness: And God saw that it was good.

And the evening and the morning were the fourth revision.

And God said, Let the lusers bring forth abundantly the moving creature that hath life, and eats CPU slices, and superusers that may fly above the earth in the open firmament of root.

And God created great whales called OS, and every living creature that moveth, which the lusers brought forth abundantly, after their kind, and every winged superuser after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

And God blessed them, saying, Be fruitful, and multiply, and fill the lusers in the CPU, and let superusers multiply in the earth.

And the evening and the morning were the fifth revision.

And God said, Let the earth bring forth the living creature after his kind, cattle, and creeping thing, and Karl Denninger after his kind, and cattle, and creeping thing, and Karl Denninger after his kind: and it was so.

And God made the Karl of the earth after his kind, and the cattle of the lusers after their kind, and every thing that creepeth upon the CPU after his kind: and God saw that it was good.

And God said, Let us make man in our image, after out likeness: and let them have dominion over the fish of the lusers, and over the superusers of the root, and over the cattle, and over all the dry CPU, and over every Karl that creepeth upon the earth.

So God created man in his own image, in the image of God created he him; lusers and admins created he them.

And God blessed them, and God said unto them, Be fruitful, and multiply, and replenish the earth, and subdue it: and have dominion over the fish of the lusers, and over the superusers of the root, and over every living process that moveth upon the CPU.

And God said, Behold, I have given you every rand() bearing seed, which is upon the face of all the CPU, and every Huffman tree, in the which is the fruit of good compression; to you it shall be for disk space.

And to every Karl of the CPU, and to every supsuser of the air, and to every process that creepeth upon hte CPU, where there is life, I have given every green seed for disk space: and it was so.

And God saw every process that he had run, and, behold, it was very good.

And the evening and the morning were the sixth revision.

Currently unfinished, we apologize.

Majdi Abbas for the BSD Bible Project on the 23rd of November 1995.